What to do when everything goes wrong?
If you meet me in person, you might not think this about me, but I tend to romanticize situations a lot. Blame it on the fairy tales we’re told as young girls. Blame it on the romantic comedies we binge as young woman. Or just blame it on my vivid imagination, but I’m always filled with this hope that every situation I encounter especially the big ones will change my life and set me on a completely new path in life. I don’t know why, but ever since I was a young child I have always been obsessed with the concept of serendipity. Even that word is so beautiful, just say it serendipity.
So with this ever present optimism, hidden behind a very pessimistic exterior, I moved states and decided to try something new for a few months. I thought about whether I should name the city or not but since it is big enough of a place, I will say that I moved to Miami. My lease expired in NYC at the end of August and I am on a leave from my job until January, so I figured it would be the perfect time to try something new and improve my surfing skills, a recent passion I discovered while on a recent trip to Hawaii (pre-Covid of course.)
In my mind the move would bring new opportunities to make friends, master surfing to the point that I become a professional, to potentially find love. However, the reality has been kicking my butt ten times over. Firstly, housing has been a royal pain to find. What I have experienced is people wasting my time and naming one price and when you go and look at the apartment they straight up ask “how much more can you pay?” which has happened to me. Or after you meet and look at the place they start naming demands which were not discussed before. In short, its been nothing but a waste of time. So I’ve been hopping around Airbnbs every single month and you would think that would exciting but packing and unpacking your life every single month is actually kind of a hassle (shocking I know).
Also the current Airbnb Im staying at portrayed itself as something completely different than what it actually is. I was thinking it would be somebody’s house, but it’s a converted hotel/hostel and my “studio” apartment is actually a hotel room. Also this area is filled with people who aren’t taking this virus seriously at all and my days are filled with listening to people run around yell, cry, cough, fist fight all without masks on of course.
Now on to the friendship and matters of the heart..and oh boy do I have a lot to say. As with the housing situation, it seems like people here don’t really value other peoples time. The usual routine of matching with guys on Bumble or Hinge, reaching out to them, and them not responding has obviously happened here but that’s not even the worst part. The thing that drives me crazy is I’ve encountered so many guys who will reach out to you to do something for the day of. Now it may not be the intention, but to me that comes across as I’ve waited until the last minuted to see if any better plans would come along and since they didn’t “Hey what are you up to btw..” It just seems so disrespectful and rude to me. The girls I’ve encountered on the “bff” portion of the dating apps have also been the same way. And it’s left me wondering am I the crazy one expecting too much in this situation? Maybe it’s the New Yorker in me, but do people really not make plans at least 24 hours in advance anymore?
And finally on to surfing. I came here to master the sport and be the next Kelly Slater (I joke), but my third day here I tripped while walking down a sidewalk (completely sober mind you) and skinned my knees. So now I can’t do anything or put pressure on that area until that is healed and its proving to be a longer process than what I remembered as child. Also who knew that waves are such a rarity in Miami and its not everyday that you even have enough of a wave to surf and this surprised me because the actual Kelly Slater is from Florida..what the heck!
So I am left with the question what do you do when everything seems to be going wrong? Like I’ve mentioned earlier I am full of gratitude and I know how lucky I am in life and that my problems pale in comparison to most people. But what do you do when you think you’ve taken all you can and life comes along and gives you a kick in the crotch? I’ve been trying to keep a positive mindset and tell myself that after all these tribulations I’m going to be so happy when things start going my way, but sometimes that’s hard to focus on. I’ve been doing a “gratitude list” every single day to remind myself how much I have to be thankful for. For example this opportunity to just pick up and start my life somewhere new for a few month is not a luxury thats afforded to many people. Also the fact that no matter how bad the housing is, I know that I will always have a roof over my head and a warm bed to cozy up in every single night and thats truly more than most people have all over the world. But what do I do about the smaller stuff? The little disappointments that happen every single day?
So please dear reader give me suggestions of what I can do to not focus on how much life hasn’t been working out the last few months. And also I want to say this is just my perception and my experience. You could come to Miami and experience something totally different and fall in love with the city from day one, so please don’t judge a place based on what I am saying here or what I said may not be a big deal to you at all.